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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25369645">Supernatural Oneshots &amp; More</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/womanwhowritesformany/pseuds/womanwhowritesformany'>womanwhowritesformany</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Drabbles, Fluff, Hunting, Language, Multi, SPN - Freeform, SPN family, Supernatural - Freeform, Violence, headcanons, oneshots, some smut, spn fanfic, supernatural family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:41:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,412</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25369645</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/womanwhowritesformany/pseuds/womanwhowritesformany</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of my original writings that consists of oneshots, headcanons and drabbles for Supernatural.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cas x OC, Castiel/You, Character x OC, Dean Winchester x OC, Dean Winchester x OFC, Dean Winchester/You, Destiel, Sam Winchester x OC, Sam Winchester x OFC, Sam Winchester/You, Supernatural Characters - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Requests/Who I Write For</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A collection of my original writings in oneshots, headcanons and drabbles for Supernatural!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'll be writing short fics, drabbles, oneshots, headcanons etc. for Supernatural (read further below for who I write for)! <br/>Characters I will include in my requests and my own writings are:<br/>Dean<br/>Sam<br/>Castiel <br/>Charlie<br/>Rowena<br/>Eileen<br/>Donna<br/>Jody<br/>Claire<br/>Kaia</p><p> </p><p>REQUESTS ARE OPEN - I will write and get to them when I can! I will write only some smut, nothing intense and it'll mostly be implied and fade to black. <br/>I write in/for:<br/>SPN Character x Reader<br/>SPN Character x SPN Character<br/>Character x Original Female or Male Character or Gender Neutral Character</p><p>Ships I WILL write for:<br/>Destiel<br/>Saileen<br/>Rowena/Charlie</p><p>Ships/Characters I WILL NEVER write for, so don't even ask me:<br/>W*ncest<br/>John Winchester<br/>**just ask me in your requests and I'll see if I will/can write it. please be kind and patient. </p><p> </p><p>(NO major smut at all)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>For requests, just tell me a short plot idea and the SPN characters and if its you, or a female/male/non-binary character.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Move On (Dean)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Prompt/Summary: You are trying to resolve an ongoing and constantly growing fight between Sam and your boyfriend Dean.<br/>Warnings: none, just angst and slight fluff between reader and Dean.<br/>Word Count:2471</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Inside the impala, it was awfully silent. The only thing that filled the awkward space was the harsh patter of the rain falling down. After Sam and Dean had a fight about the difference in opinion on their last case, you sat in the back staring at the back of their heads. The three of you knew each other for longest, growing up along side of them and being looked at like family.</p><p>Being the same age as Sam, you were often looked at like you needed constant protection and help with going on hunts, by Dean. You despised him for that, but deep down inside you also felt thankful for having someone care about you. And almost like every hunter's story, you didn't have a family anymore, and that was the price to pay as a hunter.</p><p>Those boys were the only family you had.</p><p>And you hated when they fought.</p><p>The impala came to a halt, Dean shuts off the engine as you guys arrive back to the bunker. The doors slam as they get out, leaving you as the last one in the car. As you watch Sam disappear into the bunker, you see that Dean has waited for you, sitting on hood of the car. You shake your head as you get out of the car, disappointed at the guys for arguing over something so stupid. But like always, Dean had found a way to take it to a whole other level.</p><p>As you walk past him, you scoff.</p><p>"What's the matter with you?" He pushes his body off the impala and makes his way to you as you head for the bunker door. "You pissed at me too now?"</p><p>"I'm upset at the both of you for fighting."</p><p>"Well that's just stupid."</p><p>"No it's not, Dean." You stop in your tracks and turn to him. "Listen, we're all family here and it hurts to see the two of you arguing. I get it. We can't always agree on things, or make each other understand but you gotta move on. Forgive while he's here and move on, before it's too late."</p><p>Dean stays quiet and drops his head. He understands why you always say forgive people and move on. Because you were never able to get over a petty argument before your family had died, and it hurts.</p><p>"I just need to protect him. I need to protect you." Dean whispers. "That's why I need things to go my way, or else I lose everyone."</p><p>"We're hunters." I say, standing close to him as you speak sadly. "We can't prevent death for coming for us. It's going to happen, whether it's getting hit by a car, old age or in the hunt... it'll happen. As much as we want to, as much I want to protect you guys...we gotta let things happen."</p><p>"I can't not fight for your lives." He objects.</p><p>"Hey, I'm not saying not to put up a fight. Look at who we are. We don't go down without a fight." You say, grabbing onto his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I love you, I know you love me, and I know you love your brother. But we have to move on and not waste a second."</p><p>Inside the bunker, it wasn't very fun or relaxing like it could normally be. Everyone hid put distance between each other, no one would say a word. You tried to get Sam to talk to Dean and vice versa, but it just wouldn't work. They don't like to admit it, but they can both be so damn stubborn and it rubs off on you.</p><p>Tonight, the boys had been sitting at opposite ends of the table in the reading room — library, where we all did our research. Dean had his feet up leaning back and sipping on a beer like usual. Sam, on the other side, was eating a salad, considering that he hadn't eaten for a while.</p><p>You stare at the two from the metal steps and roll your eyes. Inside, you were screaming at them to get it together. Sooner or later, you'll snap.</p><p>Once you get to the table, you look at Dean and then at Sam. No one is making an effort and no one is even looking up at you. The bag is hurting your shoulder, and so you use it as an excuse to purposely throw it down on the table, hard. Letting them both know you're pissed at them.</p><p>This causes them to look up at you, their eyes both widened at your actions.</p><p>"Good night." You say to them, walking away to you and Dean's room. The slamming of the door could be heard by the brothers, to which Dean gets up and sighs heavily, walking to the kitchen instead (and to stuff his mouth with food).</p><p>You're in the room, pacing back and forth after you took a shower and changed into some shirt and sweatpants. Fighting was something you absolutely hated. If it wasn't on the job, if it wasn't defeating the monsters out there, and it was the boys fighting or you fighting with Dean, you despise it.</p><p>A light switch seems to pop right on in your mind as you look at the two photos on top of your dresser.</p><p>One of them was nostalgic, from a long time ago. It was you and your family, back at your old home back in the city of New York where you grew up for a bit. It was all before your dad's side of the family had a dark secret; hunting. And it wasn't until your uncle died that your dad and family had become hunters.</p><p>The picture was you, your siblings and parents all sitting on a couch with a Christmas tree behind you, smiling for the timed camera. It wasn't corny, there was no Christmas pajamas. Just the family in a happy memory.</p><p>The other one, was you and the Winchesters just a year or two shy back when things weren't so intense in the world of the Winchesters. In the impala, you sat behind the two big brothers with Cas, your face resting on their seat as Dean rolled his eyes, Sam smiling big.</p><p>Of course there were fights, but it had gone on for too long lately and dragged into bigger messes. As you stated at Cas's face, you smiled as you began to think about him.</p><p>Shit. Maybe he could help. He always helps, he loves them and he loves you. It's worth the shot.</p><p>"Castiel," you lean on the tall dresser in front of you, rubbing your head with your hands.</p><p>You were never the one to pray. Ever. Not before you became a hunter, not even during.</p><p>"I know you're dealing with other things right now. But I need you here, not for a hunt, for us. You know, sometimes I think I can handle these two...boys. But clearly, things get worse. With every other fight, it just gives them a reason to dig at each other, at me.</p><p>So please, Cas. If you can do what you do and help them, talk to them and get them to understand that we need each other now. We can't take each other and our days being alive for granted. Just...please."</p><p>Once you're finished speaking, Dean walks into the room then shuts the door. There was silence for a few moments as you leaned on the dresser and closed your eyes. You could just fall asleep standing there if you could. </p><p>"I'm sorry I acted like an ass. Especially towards you, even after all the things you do for Sammy and I."</p><p>You feel him sigh into your shoulder as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind.</p><p>"I appreciate the sentiment, I do. But I'm not the one you should be apologize too."</p><p>Dean doesn't back away, instead he turns you around and tries to find your eyes. He lifts your head up with his hands and makes you look up at him.</p><p>The both of you stare at each other for awhile, before you nod your head and take his hands on your face and place your hands over them. You gently hold them, as you bite your lip. You don't want to cry, but you can feel it in your throat.</p><p>"You and Sam.. you're family."</p><p>"We're family." Dean insists.</p><p>"I know, but listen to me. You know I have no one left. I have you two and Cas, and I love that and I'm so grateful for it all. What we have. But I don't have my brothers. I don't have my parents. I'm the last one of my blood, here alive. You know it all, Dean.</p><p>You know that I could never forgive myself or them for the stupid fight I had with them before they died. You know everything and yet you choose to fight. The both of you do."</p><p>"I'm not-"</p><p>"You're both here, alive. Don't let my mistake be your mistake. I'm begging you. Because it'll hurt forever."</p><p>"I'm sorry." He says, pulling you in for a hug.</p><p>"I know," tears spill onto his shoulder as you grab onto him. "Don't let things fall apart. Go, please?"</p><p>"You know I mean it," he says as you nod your head in agreement. "I could be a real dick, I see it. Sam knows it. It hurts to lose people, and I can't keep losing him, or seeing you get close to being lost from me. I can't imagine that pain of not having him or you here."</p><p>"We don't have to fight about it." You say. "We just need to talk to each other. We can agree to disagree on things. But we can't let it go too far."</p><p>He looks away.</p><p>"I know you're never the one to be so open, Dean. But here, what you're doing with me? You should start doing that with Sam. Communicate, because our lives? They're too damn short for us to be pissed at each other all the time. Not in this life. It's okay to be weak just for a second. That doesn't make you weak forever, Dean. It's just apart of life."</p><p>You take your hands away from his head, and let them fall down to his neck, rubbing gently.</p><p>"I love you, alright?"</p><p>Dean nods and wipes his thumb beside your eye to wipe away the tear.</p><p>"Yeah, it's alright." He smirks. "I love you too, baby."</p><p>You kiss his lips once more, and your hands loosen his neck, pulling away from him to lean up against the dresser again.</p><p>"Now, will you will please go work things out with Sam? Don't wait for tomorrow."</p><p>"Maybe." Dean mutters, as he goes to kiss your forehead. He walks away with a stupid little smirk and his stubborn walk, "Thank you. For everything."</p><p>He leaves the room and you hear a whoosh right outside the door, but ignore it as long one walks in.</p><p>Not wanting to intrude on Dean or Sam, in hopes that they're talking, you stay in the room, reading up on the book you want to finish. After what feels like forever, you keep yawning.</p><p>But you didn't want to sleep. You couldn't.</p><p>So, you grab one of Dean's flannels, you head to the kitchen, where you find the brothers sitting across from each other drinking coffee and exchanging smiles. They look to you once you grab a mug and make your way to the table. You stand in front of it and glance at them.</p><p>You were so thankful someone had made a fresh pot of coffee.</p><p>"So?" You ask, raising your eyebrows.</p><p>Sam turns his laptop around and shows you a news article.</p><p>"New case."</p><p>Dean shakes his head and gulps down his coffee. "Down in Texas."</p><p>"Before we get out to Texas, we need some rest. Coffee won't work like magic." You say.</p><p>You hear a whoosh coming from beside you, Castiel stands there, a smile on his face as he pushes into your shoulder with his. The two of you share a look of hope, silently thanking him for helping Sam and Dean figure it out.</p><p>Everything was better, normal. They moved on, and it's best to do so. You smile at them and Dean pats his lap, signaling for you to join him in researching for the case.</p><p>He grabs your waist as you sit down on his lap, and you can hear him sigh in relief. Your head turns, facing down at him. His eyes find yours, and you smile as he leans his forehead on your shoulder.</p><p>Your arm wraps around him as you embrace him.</p><p>Dean isn't crying, nor is he feeling sadness. But he's feeling relieved, better now than he was before. He was thinking about how right you were, about how they needed to forgive stupid shit and move on, because tomorrow isn't promised.</p><p>Especially not in a world like this.</p><p>As much as he wanted to keep Sam here, you here and Cas by his side, he had to cherish all of you here and now in the moment.</p><p>After placing a kiss on his head, your hand ruffles his hair to get him back to paying attention to your potential case. From across the table, Sam and Castiel sit together as they go through the laptop in front of them. Sam's head raises, giving you a nod as he mouths "I'm sorry", apologizing for making it stressful for you, and even to his brother.</p><p>"This right here," you mutter after taking a sip from Dean's beer. "We can't take it for granted. Right now is all that matters." </p><p>Everyone stays silent, but smiles in agreement as they soak up the moment. It was almost like this after all the fights everyone had. Whether it was you and Dean, or you and Sam, or you with Sam against Dean.. all the teaming up against each other. But this time it felt different. This time, it wasn't about the fights and the petty silent treatment all of you loved to do. It was about this family.</p><p>Everyone sitting in the bunker. It was about coming home after a hunt, a fight, and building each other back up.</p><p>It was about love.</p><p>It's about family.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ahhh omg!! I hope you like this one shot and I hope it's not too vague or anything? I just started writing away and not really sure what this is? Dean/Reader fluff and angst between the Winchesters and the reader! So a little mix :)</p><p>PLEASE feel free to comment your requests!! Just go to the request chapter and I'll write them down and start writing!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Safe (Sam)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Summary: You go missing one night after leaving the bunker for some errands, and the boys try their best to find you. After being held by demons for a few days, you find your way out and suddenly you show up back at the bunker safe and sound. The boys arrive back and they find you. This makes Sam realize that he can't hide his feelings forever.</p><p>Pairing: Sam x Reader<br/>Warnings: Little Angst, Friends To Lovers, Fluff</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>SAM x READER<br/>there's not enough sam love in the world of fanfics and I'm a Dean girl LOL but I'm a sucker for sam.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There wasn't many things you hated in this world, you never hated anyone or anything because that wasn't who you were. Even as a hunter you tried your best not to let hatred consume you but those damn demons were something else.</p><p>Two nights ago you were out grabbing things for the bunker for yourself and the guys. Normally Sam would join you, his way to get some alone time with you and maybe try to admit his growing feelings he's been feeling for you for quite some time now. But you told him you needed alone time for the day, explaining that when you get back the two of you could find something to do. You were out all day and Sam started to get anxious until Dean tried to tell him you were probably just driving around taking some time off.</p><p>But Dean was totally wrong. You ran into some trouble with two demons which at first you thought you could handle, but that was until till a dozen had attacked you. They did awful things to you to try and get to the Winchesters but you wouldn't budge, they were your family now and nothing could ever make you risk their safety. You did and said this confidently as you knew that they would do anything for you, Sam would do anything and everything to keep you safe.</p><p>You held on that night you escaped and killed some of the demons the best you could considering all the damage they caused. Bruises almost everywhere from the fights, cuts from their knives on your face and neck everything hurt. The words they said to you hit right home and the thought of them finding the boys -- hurting Sam? You couldn't stomach having Sam being torn away from you. It made you angry that you didn't let Sam come with you that day because maybe if he did you wouldn't be in this mess.</p><p>After running far enough from wherever you were, you found a car and stole it - thanks to Sam teaching you how to hot wire one. Figuring out where you last were you then made it back to the bunker, but once you walked down those steel steps you called out for Sam but no one answered. No Dean and no Cas either.</p><p>For those two days that felt never ending to Sam, he never stopped looking and neither did Dean. His fear was slowly becoming real and to lose you meant that he would never get the chance to tell you he's in love with you. To lose you meant he'd never be okay with himself knowing he couldn't save you. This weight he was carrying now wasn't doing him good and Dean had to try and console him and get his head back right and focus on finding you safe.</p><p>You hated the fact that they were probably doing everything they could to try and save you during a time where so much was going on. Before you were taken that night, the boys and you were trying to solve yet another major issues along with going on hunts. Dealing with Metaron, the fall of Angels and helping Cas all while making sure Sam was okay after his death and being possessed by Gadreel. </p><p>The issues you and the boys encountered the last five years together was endless, but the thing you noticed is that no one was ever alone and you all tried your best to keep each other safe. </p><p>Between you and Sam there were constant promises and reassurances that went further than just friends -- it meant something deeper to the both of you, but telling yourselves that and trying to communicate those feelings with actual words were hard. </p><p>There was nothing, thanks to the demons who cleaned and cover their tracks, to be able to track you down. Cas answered Sam, but his strength was not good lately considering he didn't have much grace in him. Dean convinced Sam to get back to the bunker for the night and get his head together before going back out to find you, but when they returned Sam was relieved.</p><p>The night you came back after escaping the demons your strength was at a low for the first time in a while. It was exhausting being a hunter, but now practically being a Winchester it meant no sleep especially dealing with the Angels hunting Cas down after they fell.</p><p>You tried to walk to one of the chairs in the library but failed and ended up falling into a wall and sliding down, sitting restlessly against it trying to hold yourself up. After what felt like hours of antagonizing pain and going in and out, the bunker door opens and heavy footsteps come down the steel steps.</p><p>You hear Sam call out your name and you slowly lift your head, eyes still clenched close in pain as you tried to call out for him but instead let out a wincing groan filled with your cries.</p><p>"Hey, hey what happened?" Dean voice echos through the bunker in a panic as he follows Sam in the library.</p><p>"Dean go get the first aid, I got her."</p><p>Sam falls the ground and carefully engulfs you into his arms as he places a hand on your face, tears beginning to from in his eyes. He observes your body to check for any life threatening wounds, but only finds the bruises and cuts. His hand slides up your face gently as it stops by your jawline, his thumb softly rubbing a part of your cheek that doesn't have a cut.</p><p>"We were looking everywhere for you, we were trying our best."</p><p>"It's okay," you speak softly. "I'm here now and I'm so damn exhuasted."</p><p>"What happened," he stutters, "who did this?"</p><p>You stare up at him and notice his face scrunched up, eyebrows furrowed in and a tear trailing down his cheek.</p><p>"Those," you begin to tremble, "those fucking demons. They knew everything about you and Dean and somehow me too. The things they said and did to try and get me to turn on you, I wouldn't let them come here."</p><p>"You should've told them-"</p><p>"And then what? Get you and your brother killed?"</p><p>"They could've tried." Sam sadly chuckles. "You're hurt and this is because-"</p><p>"Don't you dare say because of you. That's the oldest excuse in the book."</p><p>"I know but if I lost you, I don't know what I'd do with myself. I can't imagine you not being here anymore."</p><p>"If you did, you'd have to let me go. That's how are life is, that's what happens."</p><p>"Stop."</p><p>Sam leans forward and lets his lips linger on your forehead for what felt like forever. You crack a smile as you begin to think how worried he was for you, how he was sorry that he wasn't there for you that day. His hand</p><p>"Sam, I'm not dying." You grip his hand and squeeze. "Just a little hurt. Nothing can stop me as you can tell."</p><p>You try to lighten the mood even though you were in pain both physically and mentally. His lips lift up in a smile but quickly turns into a frown as he pulls you more into his arms, not wanting to let you go just yet. He stares into your eye then flashes to all the wounds you had got from the last two days. Out of all the cases you've been on this was different. He'd seen you hurt before and vice versa, but this time it wasn't on a case and this was the first time you'd ever been taken by someone -- by demons.</p><p>"Everything just hurts." You look into his eyes. "I want to kill them all for what they did to me, what they tried to do."</p><p>"It's okay you're back home now." Sam whispers. "You're here with me, you're safe. We'll get you fixed up then Dean and I will find them."</p><p>You reach out to stop him from moving as you move your hand on top of his to reach up to his face. For a moment your glossy eyes focus on each others as if you both wanted to say something more after a life threatening moment you had. But the words you wanted to say didn't come out as you were struck with nerves running through your stomach. Sam tilts his head in wonder as your thumb swipes from his cheek and just runs over the corners of his lip. </p><p>"Not yet," you reply. "Can we just stay here like this for a little longer?"</p><p>Sam lets out a laugh as he furrows his brows, "I gotta get you fixed up." </p><p>"Just... hold me for a sec." </p><p>"Yeah," Sam says. </p><p>Sam adjusts himself so that his back leans against the wall with you in his lap, the two of you resting together as Dean is off getting the medical supplies and other things for him and Sam to take care of you. You were beginning to think that maybe Dean had been purposely taking time to get the medical supplies to leave the two of you alone, but you shrugged it off with thinking that Dean (and even Sam) had no clue about your feelings for Sam. </p><p>"Yeah," he repeats, "we can stay here for a sec." He leans down and kisses your forehead that is currently pounding with a headache and you close tour eyes at the warmth that begins to spread in your body. </p><p>Two days had gone by and the boys had left you to rest as they checked in on you from time to time. Cas had came by to apologize for you and offered to help find those damn demons and hunt them down. Dean had popped in now and then to make sure you were alright, and to let you know that Sam was too. But you noticed, in just the two days, he started coming to your room less and less. And today, you hadn't seen him at all. </p><p>"Dean?"</p><p>"You alright?"</p><p>"Where's Sam?" You furrow your brows as you sit up in your bed. "I haven't seen him since yesterday...please don't tell me he went to hunt down-"</p><p>"No, no," dean shakes his head, "he's here. I think he just blames himself for what happened to you. He cares a whole damn lot for you."</p><p>"He does?"</p><p>"Have you not noticed the way he stares at you every time you walk in a room? All the time you two nerds hang out together with a pile of books?"</p><p>You start to blush and think back to all the times Sam and you would be alone in the bunker. Obviously the moment since you met these boys, there was something about Sam that made you feel all giddy inside with butterflies fluttering throughout your stomach and your mind going a mile a minute with thinking about him.</p><p>You didn't realize that Sam could possibly have those feelings for you, but you also didn't think that Sam could blame himself for things that can go wrong with things he has no control over. But here you were listening to Dean tell you things that should be obvious to you about Sam.</p><p>"Where is he?"</p><p>Dean raises his brows and smirks, "Ah so you're gonna be the one to tell him how you feel?"</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about," you try to hide your smile as you stand up from your bed. "I'm going to tell him that none of this is his fault and he should't be hiding from me."</p><p>Dean just laughs and leans against your wall in your room.</p><p>"So, are you going to tell me where he is?"</p><p>"His room, kid."</p><p>"Thank you, ass."</p><p>You roll your eyes and chuckle as you leave your room with Dean following behind, then telling you he'd be drinking away and stuffing his pie hole with some food. As you walk to Sam's room you stop for a moment and breathe through some of the pain you feel along with the butterflies that spark within your body. Raising your hand to his door you knock lightly a few times and walk in slowly.</p><p>Sam sits on his bed with his laptop on his legs, squinting at the screen in front of him before he lifts his head up and straightening out his back once he notices you're the one who knocked.</p><p>"Hey," you enter his room after knocking, "can I come sit?" </p><p>He nods his head and moves his legs off his bed to make room for you.</p><p>"How are you feeling?"</p><p>"The painkillers Dean gave me worked like magic, but I think they're wearing off. Still feeling eh." </p><p>Sam looks glances away from you and to the floor trying to avoid your eyes.</p><p>"Sam, it's not your fault what happened to me." You grab his hand and hold it, making sure he knows you're being serious. "This life we live, shit like this is bound to happen. And don't you go ahead and start saying it's because of you being a Winchester. I live here with you guys, I feel like I'm practically one."</p><p>Sam's head tilts in your direction and smiles with empathy as he nods.</p><p>"I know you're telling me it's not my fault but please believe me when I say I do everything I can to keep you safe because I really do care about you."</p><p>"I know Sam, I care about you and Dean too. Caring isn't a crime."</p><p>"No, no more than what you think." He stutters as he looks away again like he's nervous. His hand pulls away from yours and you start to think you over stepped despite what he just said. It stays quiet between you and him as you wait patiently for Sam to sort out his thoughts. His eyebrows are pulled as if he's struggling with something.</p><p>"Sam?"</p><p>"I've been trying...I've just," Sam continues to stutter over his words and you realize he's not focusing on what he's trying to talk to you, his nerves are starting to get the best of him.</p><p>Before he continues to talk, you reach over to his hand again and hold it as your other hand gently glides back and forth the other side of his hand.</p><p>"It's okay." You reassure him. "Are you...okay?" </p><p>He takes a deep breath and still keeps his eyes on the floor, "for a long time now every time you walk in a room, my heart stops at how beautiful you are...my friend. And that scares me so much to feel the way I do about someone I care a lot for and those feelings could easily mess everything we have all up."</p><p>You heart begins to thump harder against your chest as you listen.  </p><p>Sam lets out a breath, "and to have lost you the other day, I thought I might've lost you forever. I thought I'd never get the chance to tell you how much I want to keep you safe. How much- how much I..."</p><p>He pauses and suddenly turns his body so that it's almost completely facing you on his bed, trying to muster the courage to tell you everything he feels for you.</p><p>"Look," he whispers your name and takes a gulp of air, "I thought you were gone forever and I thought about how I never got the chance to tell you how I much I love you."</p><p>"Oh..." You stare in awe as he looks up at you, trying to take his hand away from you as he starts to think this was a mistake. Flickering your eyes down at Sam trying to pull away, you pull on them and make him look at you.</p><p>"I can't believe you're telling me this." You admit.</p><p>"It's okay if you don't-"</p><p>"And what if I do?" You question as your left hand raises to rest on the side of his face as he closes his eyes and lets a hopeful smile form. "Sam, I've fallen in love with you a long time ago." </p><p>His ears perk up as he moves closer to you again as his thigh sits dangerously close to yours, his arm awkwardly wrapping around your waist. He lets out a scoff as he pulls his arm away from you, not sure how this was going to go. After all, he was so damn nervous even if you did just tell him you felt the same way. In this life, neither of you were lucky or fortunate enough to really go for it -- for love. </p><p>"You do?"</p><p>"Yeah I do, I love you Sam."</p><p>You watch him move his arm around you then quickly retracts as he rests it back into his lap, making you smile at his awkwardness. He just made a move on you with telling you how he felt and now he tried to make another, but his nerves got the best of him. So you decided to make the move for him, it was the least you could do despite being just as nervous as him. </p><p>Reaching out to him your hand lands on his jaw and the other on his neck, pulling him forward eagerly. The two of you stare at each other, Sam is surprised by your movements but follows along as you place your lips right on his, forcing both of your eyes shut. He moves into the kiss as he finally uses his arm to wrap around your waist and pulls you closer to him, wanting to kiss you longer as he becomes infatuated by the invisible sparks going off. </p><p>Kissing him had made it feel like the things around you were starting to blur into oblivion, and that the only things that were existing in the moment were you and Sam. Your hand on his face leaves to join the one that's wrapped around his neck as you kiss him deeper, your tongue swiping across his bottom lip to make another move. </p><p>You hear a low moan coming from Sam as he practically pulls you into him on his lap but not quite, as his mouth opens and now his tongue is the one to swipe across your lip. In sync both of your mouths open and your tongues begin to dance with and against each other. </p><p>Before it would go any further you pull your tongue away and he follows and you move away off his lips, still lingering just centimeters away. Your eyes open and you stare at each other for a few seconds until you kiss him once more. </p><p>You pull away and breathlessly chuckle, "well damn, if this is how I knew you felt I would've let demons take me much sooner." </p><p>You try and joke until Sam's arms wrap around your waist and practically pulls you onto his lap. His forehead rests on yours and he bites his lip. </p><p>"Don't joke like that." You hear him say.</p><p>"I'm sorry." You breathlessly laugh. "I'm here now, safe. It's all going to be fine as long as I'm here with you."</p><p>Sam pulls you into him as he leans back embracing you into his side as you both fall onto his bed cuddling into each other. </p><p>"I thought you were gone for good," Sam begins to speak. "I know this life isn't easy and we can't protect everyone, but I would do anything for you because I love you." </p><p>"You know I'd do anything for you too." You lean up and kiss him on his cheek right on the corner of his mouth. "Now come on big guy, let's get going. We've got a lot of work do."</p><p>You try and get up but his arms pull you back into him and you let out a laugh. He looks at you lovingly as his hand reaches down to the side of your face and smiles. </p><p>"Can we just stay here like this for a little longer?" He repeats your words from a few days ago, making your heart swell up and blush as your cheeks heat up. </p><p>"Yeah," you nod and kiss his lips gently then resting your head on his chest, "yeah we can."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>drop some comments, kudos and any prompts/request and I'll try and write it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 1 of All Things Must Pass (Dean)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The first chapter to my Dean Winchester fanfic, All Things Must Pass.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>there are 4 chapters up already, go check it out!! </p><p>link to the fic:<br/>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27785824/chapters/68283436 ALL THINGS MUST PASS DEAN WINCHESTER FANFICTION</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CHAPTER ONE<br/>
Hunting was difficult, and sometimes exhilarating even. It was everything and it was a life you were born into. There was no running from it, at least that’s what you were taught; no leaving it all behind without a guilt of innocent lives in danger you know are always at risk. This was the life of you, your sister and the Winchesters. It was the life of your family in the past. The four of you shared similar stories and childhoods and even knew each other since you were all kids considering everyone's parents were hunters.<br/>
It was rare though, you and Stevie seeing the Winchester brothers. Growing up through the years and raising your sister after the death of your parents was rough, but bumping into the boys and John was rare. When John wasn’t around, the four of you had spent time hanging out, or working on a case or two together. But when you all did meet up, it was like time hadn't passed. The two of you were the oldest of your siblings so you always looked out for Sam the same way Dean looked out for Stevie. But the way you both watch each other's backs, the shared intense gazes...there was always something there that the two of you could never even begin to explain. </p><p>Flirting was a thing that always happened back and forth between Dean and you. It started when you were kids, teenagers, and it never stopped. At first it was just cute and a way to distract each other from the horrors of hunting but then as you got older there was some tension that both Sam and Stevie so obviously saw. </p><p>There was jealousy among both sides, as Dean would see other girls and you would be seeing other guys. But neither of you said anything, because you were just kids trying to find some type of normalcy in an unconventional life you shared. But that’s also when the very rare hookups began that started out platonic but turned into something more as both your feelings lingered between each other. It wasn't spoken but it was known that Dean felt something more and so did you. </p><p>And those feelings you two felt was nothing you could ever imagine in a life like this. Feelings like this could never be pursued in a hunters life, as Dean would think. You often wondered why couldn't they at least give it a try?</p><p>But losing people by the hands of a vampire, rougarou or a damn demon did make it worse to feel love for someone. It was bad enough the two of you had a younger sibling to protect, so there was never any mention of trying, not a word came out of you to let Dean know you wanted something, wanted him. </p><p>You hadn’t seen them in a while, especially Sam. He left them to join college and Dean had stuck to hunting with his father, even after he went missing. When John was missing, Dean called you and Stevie to help him and Sam search for a while, but eventually he pushed you away to keep you and your sister safe once things got more dangerous. You protested his demands then obliged but never stopped helping or looking for their dad. It was the least you could do since John helped you and your sister when your parents died all those years ago. </p><p>And ever since that night Dean told you to leave, you hadn't seen them again. But tonight you would have no idea you'd be encountering the Winchesters again. Without any idea of the weight they were about to lay on you.  But here you are in Upstate New York, just shy of seven at night, getting ready to solve a case after you and your sister finished a hunt with werewolves a few days ago, just states away. </p><p>The diner is blaring, filled with Christmas music playing, families, couples and teens talking over it. It’s stuffy from the heat blasting from the vents and crowded diner. The holiday season was upon everyone, the overbearing christmas decorations and the big glowing multicolor string lights hung throughout the walls of the diner. A few stray strings of tinsel lay on the checkered floor. Sam and Dean sit in a booth, the Christmas lights shining on them as they discuss a case they've been seeing through.</p><p>Dean checks out one of the waitresses that walk by him as he smirks to himself as Sam coughs trying to get his attention. He just turns his head at his brother and shrugs laughing before he takes a sip of beer.</p><p>“Back to the case, yeah?” Sam smiles as he types away on his laptop after handing over a file to his brother. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah.” Dean takes the file with aggressive force, exhausted from previous cases. “Let’s just hope this one doesn’t attract a certain woman psycho.”</p><p>“Bela?”</p><p>“That bitch is all types of nuts.” </p><p>“Yeah well,” Sam shrugs, “we’ve got some important things to focus on Dean. Like vampires?”</p><p>“So, let me guess. The usual? Dead bodies poppin’ up at night all around town, drained of their blood and teeth marks on their necks?” </p><p>Sam looks at him dumbfounded, “Sorta. Except some victims end up staying alive in a hospital.”</p><p>“There’s always a catch.” Dean gulps down some beer and rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Always.” </p><p>You and Stevie walk side by side make your way to the diner counter without any idea you'd be seeing anyone you would know — even the Winchester boys. New York was a place you loved, because it reminded you how big the world is, and whenever you felt small growing up in a small town, the city made you feel like you could take on anything, be it monsters, ghosts or even your own issues. </p><p>The last time you saw them was a few years back at Bobby's when you needed his and the boys help in finding your sister after a hunt went wrong. Thankfully they were there for you and like always, everyone worked well with each other.</p><p>Stevie shrugs off her faded large black jean jacket and drapes it over the back of the seat as she grabs two places at the counter. Your hands are still in your leather jacket pockets, still cold from the rainy and freezing atmosphere of Upstate.  </p><p>"Those damn werewolves the other night...god it really tired me out." Your sister says sighing once she sits down on the cushioned seat. </p><p>"Yeah well we got the job done, that's how we do. On to the next." You smile smugly, turning your head to speak to a waitress. "Can we get two beers over here? Thanks."</p><p>"And two plates of fries!" Your sister adds.</p><p>Shifting around to lean your back against the counter, you peer out to the people sighing in annoyance. It was either too many people for your liking or you were sick being in these diners and even the road bars and being hit on way too much by men of all ages. It was rare to actually take a night off and get one of the men or women back into your motel for the night as Stevie hung around somewhere else.</p><p>But when you did get that night off, it was a great way to wind back and forget about the real shit that no one else but hunters can imagine.</p><p>Just as you were about to finish scanning the room you feel your sister nudge you. Turning back around to the counter you see your beer waiting nice and cold, water slipping down the bottle just waiting to be drunk. Drinking together was celebratory for your sister and you, and the only time you drank was whenever you beat the monsters with her. Other than that, you'd never drink.</p><p>“So,” Stevie begins, “Are we here for this vampire hunt or another one of your breaks?”</p><p>After gulping down a drastic amount of beer, you place it down on the counter then rest your elbows on the counter, as you stay leaning against it. </p><p>“If I’m lucky, maybe both.” You say sarcastically, raising your eyebrows up and down before rolling your eyes. “Nah, whenever we finish this hunt I thought you might like to do some tourist bullshit in the city. We deserve some bonding time that doesn’t involve hunting.”</p><p>Stevie gasps dramatically, “No motel hookups for you? That’s surprising.” </p><p>You laugh and hit her arm with the back of your arm. </p><p>“I don’t even need to doubt that you’re my sister. Anyways, yes we deserve an actual break. One that doesn’t include drinking to get drunk or waking up with a person you don’t even know.” </p><p>Stevie smiles and raises her beer bottle to you. </p><p>“To a well deserved break.” </p><p>You roll your eyes and grab your beer once you turn around, “To a well deserved break.” </p><p>Just across the diner sitting in a booth, Dean shifts in his seat once he eyes the back of you and your sister from afar, standing at the counter with your backs turned. The leather jacket clings to your body just like the light blue jeans you wear. He bites his bottom lip almost as if he was in agony as his eyes were glossing from the top of your head to your back and down to your ass as he checked you out.</p><p>He doesn’t know it was either of you, but all he sees are two hot women from behind and he slammed his beer down in smiles.</p><p>“Dude.” Sam looks up at his brother once he stands up from the booth.</p><p>“Sam, we are in freaking New York. The chicks out here know what they want.”</p><p>He fixes his jacket, popping up his collar and takes a step forward. </p><p>“We’re on a hunt! Besides, don’t be a creep, there’s families here.”</p><p>“Never stopped me before.” He slaps Sam on the shoulder. “There’s two of them and two of us. Let’s get some, Sammy!” </p><p>Stevie and you are drinking beers and discussing some book the two of you finally finished reading -- this was your favorite thing you and your sister shared, other than hunting, books were a good way to escape your harsh reality as a hunter. </p><p>“I don’t understand why she had to end up with him.” Stevie rolls her eyes. “I get the time period of it all, but surely she could’ve fucking been the one to end that gender role of marrying an asshole of a rich guy and be her own person? She was smart!”</p><p>“I don’t think that’s what it was about.” You say, tilting your head and looking around as you think about the book. </p><p>“Well, she didn’t have to marry him!”</p><p>“Well, she did.” You pat Stevie on her back in sarcastic comfort. </p><p>“It’s called Pride and Prejudice! How did that end up having a happy ending?” Stevie practically yells as she complains about Jane Austen’s book. </p><p>“Alright there, calm down.” You laugh. “I’m sure we can find a new book where the main girl doesn’t fall for a man and stays on her own.”</p><p>“Or better yet, falls in love with a woman. Could it kill these writers to have some or decent representation?” </p><p>“You’re not wrong there.”</p><p>“When am I ever wrong?” Stevie pridefully says, as she stuffs her face with french fries. </p><p>Before the conversation went further, you hear heavy footsteps coming from behind you. You were beginning to hope it wasn't anyone trying to hit on you or your sister and that it was just someone trying to order food or their check. </p><p>"So uh, what's the deal? You two best friends, sisters?" A gruff voice asks, attempting to flirt as he lets out a laugh. "My brother and I have a booth if you wanna join us, or you know a motel room eventually."</p><p>"Dude." You hear another voice say. "Seriously?"</p><p>"Uh- not together. No, nope that is so not what I meant."</p><p>You furrow your brows and let out a chuckle, turning around coming in contact with those wide greens eyes you know. The guy's cocky smile fades and his mouth goes ajar.</p><p>"Well shit, Sam and Dean." You raise your brows as your heart starts to pound just a tiny bit faster than normal. It's Dean. “Hi boys.”</p><p>"Hitting on women in a diner? Have you finally hit a low, Dean?" Stevie jabs at him, smiling and looking at Sam. "Has he?"</p><p>Her head tilts to Sam and they both laugh as they embrace each other in their arms for a warm, welcoming hug while laughing.</p><p>Dean is still stuck frozen once he has the realization it's you. Still in shock at the fact that he had embarrassingly flirted with the person he hadn’t seen in two years, someone he was a complete jerk to. Your eyes don't leave him and you both weren't so sure how to greet each other since the last time you saw him.</p><p>*flashback: </p><p>"Dean, I know you want to protect me but you forget I do the same thing you do. How can you be so stubborn?"</p><p>"Because I can't lose you and it's best that you go. This yellow eyed demon is no joke," he says your name and pleads. "If I can make sure you go, I can make sure that you and your sister are safe."</p><p>"But we're all family." You argue. "And family stays together, fights together."</p><p>"Family doesn't let family die."</p><p>"Which is why we won't leave you and Sam to do this on your own." You make a point but Dean shakes his head. "So that's that then? Won't let me help find your dad, the one who saved me and my sister's life? I owe it to him to help."</p><p>"He wouldn't want you to help."</p><p>"You don't know that."</p><p>"Of course I do! If my dad doesn't even want us looking why would he want you to risk your life?"</p><p>"Don't you see it Dean? You just said it yourself, don't be a hypocrite and don't you dare push me away. We've been through too much together, let me help. I love you, okay? I love Sam and I'd do anything for you guys."</p><p>"We can't keep doing what we're doing. I don't want to see you dead for me or for my dad." </p><p>Dean looks away as tears form in his eyes as he tries to ignore the three words you told him.<br/>
He rubs his hand over his face and through his short dirty blonde hair.</p><p>"I don't want to hurt you, but I'm doing this to keep you safe."</p><p>"But you are hurting me, Dean. My heart -- listen, please don't push me out. I'm a goddamn hunter this is what we do, it's just another case."</p><p>"It's not just another case. It’s better you're hurt and far away from me than dead because of me."</p><p>You look away from his eyes once the memory of your last encounter with him pops in your head and finishes. A smile forms on your face as your sister leaves Sam's embrace and nudges Dean in his arm to hug her. Dean looks away, pulls your sister in and smiles.</p><p>You roll your eyes at Sam's huge smile then engulf him in the biggest bear hug ever. You take a step back to lean against the bar again not wanting to embrace the guy who hurt you— the guy who was a hypocritical coward that night, even though you wanted nothing more to be in those arms again.</p><p>"It's good to see you. What's going on?" Sam says, pulling away and waiting for your sister and you to explain.</p><p>"How long has it been?" Dean clears his throat to pull himself together as you feel his eyes on you, but you're not sure how long you can stand it.</p><p>"Been too long." You smile sadly at him. "We just finished up a case back in California, bunch of werewolves."</p><p>"And you're here in Albany now, why so far?" Sam asks.</p><p>"Besides wanting to see the city again, I hear there's some vamp activity around town, so we figured to take a quick beer break and then dive right into research." Stevie explains.</p><p>"Well look at that." Dean smiles at Sam before glancing down at you and your sister. "We're already on it."</p><p>You furrow your brows, "aren't you gonna let us join you boys? For old times sake?"</p><p>You're not sure why you said it, because seeing Dean was something you weren't so sure you wanted. Of course you missed him, of course you wanted him back in your life...but knowing Dean, he'd be too stubborn to let that happen. But your thoughts were shaken by Dean accepting the offer.</p><p>"Hell yeah, let's do this and get this son of a bitch."</p><p>"There could be more than just one, Dean." Sam says, as Stevie and you laugh.</p><p>"Then...let's get these sons of bitches."</p><p>"Sam, I have so much shit to tell you." Stevie grabs Sam's arm and pulls him away towards the booth as she pats Dean on the shoulder when she walks by him. "Let's let them catch up."</p><p>You catch on to what your younger sister is doing, acting like she's in her teens again and playing matchmaker. You scoff as the two of them head back to the booth and geek out over previous cases they wished they could've done together. See those two were like the closest friends you'd ever seen, and despite Dean practically kicking you out and pushing you away, Sam and Stevie kept in touch.</p><p>"Those two," Dean sighs as he tries not to be awkward. "When are they gonna get together, am I right?"</p><p>Taking a step back to lean on the counter of the bar again, your brows furrow and you cringe at the thought.</p><p>"What? I'm serious."</p><p>"Dean, my sister is not into Sam."</p><p>"Oh come on, look at how she looks at him."</p><p>The two of you glance over at the booth to see them smiling brightly at each other, her eyes wide as she seems to be telling him a story. You scoff and lift the beer up to your mouth and scoff. Dean leans next to you, staring with a questionable look.</p><p>"Gosh, you are so damn oblivious. You think you'd know someone practically your entire life and they don't know..."</p><p>He looks at you trying to understand, his eyebrows raised while his mouth goes slightly agape.</p><p>"My god Dean, she's into women!"</p><p>You stare at Dean's face as he's trying to figure it out, then frowns while nodding his head while with a small smile.</p><p>"Makes sense."</p><p>"Oh does it now?" You laugh. "And how exactly does that make sense?"</p><p>"I'm just saying, I mean there was that one time she got mad at me for checking out a college chick. She knocked me in the face, remember? I thought it was because I was supposed to be focusing on the case, but I guess not. Maybe she was jealous-”</p><p>"My god."</p><p>The conversation ends in laughter, awkwardly of course, as you both stand there at the counter drinking and letting your siblings catch up. You are beginning to feel overwhelmed by his presence and you try and take a few steps forward before he catches onto your wrist with urgency.</p><p>"Listen," Dean starts as he says your name. "The last time we spoke-"</p><p>"We don't need to talk about it." You get out of his soft grasp , down your beer then slam it on the counter.</p><p>"But-"</p><p>You smile bitterly, "It's all good! Once this case is over you don't gotta ever see me again like we discussed."</p><p>And with that, you walk towards the booth where your sister and Sam hang out eager to get the night and case over with.</p><p>Most of the night in the diner goes smoothly as you all get caught up with each other's lives and the cases you've been on since the last time you saw each other.</p><p>"How's uh, life been going?" Dean raises his brows in your direction as he stands up and sits in your side of the booth, after you sit back down from letting your sister out of the booth. Sam and her go to grab more beer for the four of you, leaving Dean and you alone yet again.</p><p>"Like always it's been...well you know how it is." You roll your eyes. "Been chasing cases and never really stopping."</p><p>"Looks like you were stopping tonight."</p><p>"Having a drink before another case? I don't think so. The last time I stopped hunting it wasn't so fun."</p><p>"Why's that? Finished all the beer in the town you were in?"</p><p>"Very funny Dean."</p><p>He sits back in the seat and rests his arm on top of the booth which are a few inches away from your shoulders. You shift in your seat, feeling uneasy because of the awkwardness. That, or because of the fluttering butterflies you got when he was near you. </p><p>"Hey, I'm just saying. Our breaks don't get to be fun, or even relaxing. Lucky we get a few hours of sleep at most, or something else." He wiggles his brows. "There wasn't anything fun to do besides hunting?"</p><p>"After the last time we saw each other...you know. Us hunters don't get breaks, remember? I kept working case after case, drinking even though I didn't like it I even went back to motels with different people I would never even talk to again."</p><p>Dean furrows her brows in question, "Different people?"</p><p>"I tell you all that and that's what you take from it? Dumbass."</p><p>"Sorry, I just didn't-"</p><p>"Know. That's alright, I never told anyone. I didn't think it made a difference from who I am, you know? Anyways, besides being bisexual Dean, I was a wreck. My sister really helped me but I don't think I'm over things."</p><p>He leans forward and reaches his hand out for you.</p><p>"Listen-”</p><p>"Dean, I'm serious when I say we don't need to talk about what happened. It's over with and after this case I was-"</p><p>"Look, my dad died." Dean begins to explain but you cut him off again.</p><p>"I heard," your head drops down and away from his gaze, but your hand finds him on the table. "I'm sorry I didn't call. I took it serious when you told me to stay away."</p><p>"It's alright, I guess I kind of deserve that." He shrugs. "But I need you to listen to me when I say the things I said to you then.. you didn't deserve me yelling in your face and saying harsh shit. I just wanted to keep you and your sister safe, away from that demon."</p><p>You raise your head and turn back to look at him in slight disbelief.</p><p>"I've handled a demon or two before Dean."</p><p>"Not this one, this one had yellow eyes and was too powerful and dangerous. I couldn't get you mixed up with that and I couldn't put you at risk."</p><p>"But why Dean? I really don't understand why you wanted to push me away?"</p><p>You were too scared to admit to yourself that maybe it was because he really did love you. Although it was unsaid, you both knew the feelings you held for each other were real and they were there. But to say it out loud? That was something else.</p><p>He stutters but words don't come out.</p><p>"Forget it." You say, as you see Sam and your sister walking back to the booth.</p><p>"I do want to fix things." Dean quickly says before his brother and your sister come back to join you guys.</p><p>Your eyes stay fixed on him as he drinks away the beer and plays around with the new plate of fries you know Dean and your sister wanted. The conversation gets away from the both of you, and instead Sam and your sister spend the most time talking and occasionally poking fun at Dean and his moments from the past.</p><p>The four of you leave the diner and make it back to a motel not so far from where it is. You drive the truck you've had for a few months with your sister in the passenger seat, following the impala to the motel.</p><p>"So, did it feel awkward?"</p><p>"What?" You ask your sister glancing from her then to the road.</p><p>"Seeing Dean again." She shrugs. "I mean the last time we saw them, he basically screamed and kicked your ass out on the curb."</p><p>"Our asses." You say. "That was what, two years ago? It didn't... feel awkward... it just felt sad. I'm sure you felt the same."</p><p>"Yes, but that's different. I'm not sad like how you are because I'm not the one who's in love with one of them."</p><p>"I'm not in love with Dean." You sigh in annoyance, even though you know she's right and made a good point but you wouldn't ever admit it.</p><p>“I never said Dean.” </p><p>You scold at Stevie and grip the steering wheel tightly,  “My statement still stands.” </p><p>"Sure." She mutters.</p><p>You pull up next to the impala in a parking space and roll your eyes as you grab your bag and make way to get a room for your sister and you. As you all get settled down in your rooms, you meet back in the Winchester's room and pile on the books and research. All in unsettling silence or an occasional info dump from Sam or Stevie, you and Dean would steal glances at each other. After an hour or so of research your sister and you took a vending machine break and let the boys read this time (the last time you worked on a real case with them, you were stuck with the pile of books so it was only right).</p><p>A bit later you came back into the motel and the atmosphere between the brothers were off as Dean looked agitated and a bit exhausted. Without figuring out what was happening like you used to do, you let things go and decided that you and Sam would leave and pick up food for everyone, leaving your sister with Dean to research more through books and the laptop.<br/>
Sam decided he wanted to drive, so he took the keys to the Impala and Dean didn't even protest against it. Once the two of you arrive back at the twenty-four hour diner, Sam orders inside a bunch of mixed foods; breakfast stuff and coffees for everyone just in case you all wouldn't get a chance to eat breakfast in a few hours. The two of you wait outside for the food, holding paper cups of coffee as you stand by the impala.</p><p>"What's up with Dean, Sam?" You lean on the impala as Sam and you wait for the food you're picking up for everyone. "Eager to have us join this case and work together? What's next, singing kumbaya in a bar or around a damn campfire?"</p><p>Sam looks down on the ground for a moment as if he's hesitating, thinking of a way to tell you without being the one to break your heart.</p><p>"You know how Dean is...protective." Sam says as you nod your head.</p><p>"Oh I know," your eyes go wide, "which is why he doesn't seem like his one hundred percent self tonight."</p><p>Sam stays silent for a few minutes, as you were staring up at him painterly waiting for him to answer.</p><p>"Well?" You plead. </p><p>"His time..." Sam is hesitant, unsure if he should be telling you his brother's truth. "His time is running up and he did it for me."</p><p>"Time is running up? What the fuck does that mean?"</p><p>"He made a deal with a demon."</p><p>"He made a deal with a goddamn demon?" Your pulse begins to quicken as your face scrunches as panic rises in your throat. </p><p>"He's got a year to live and if he tries to stop it he'll die right then and there."</p><p>"A year?" Your voice trembles as your words barely make it out your mouth. Backing away from Sam you hear him try to console you but your hand goes up and he stops walking.</p><p>"What a way to reunite.” You close your eyes and shake your head. “Fuck.” </p><p>Your mind is racing with thoughts and your heart begins to break, knowing that Dean and you might never get a chance ever.</p><p>"Wait, is that why he let us join this case?"</p><p>Sam nods with empathy, "Probably. I think this is probably a way to make amends with you, make things right before he you know...dies."</p><p>"Fucking dick." You scoff. "So he just thinks just because he's gonna die that I'll forgive him? Why is he so selfish?"</p><p>"Look, he took a deal with a crossroads demon. My life, for his. I'm upset, angry too but you know how Dean is."</p><p>"Yeah he's a dumbass." You sit back onto the impala and bite your lip to stop yourself from crying.</p><p>Sam scoffs, "yeah, he is. He did it for me but I just can't help but feel like I need to save his life now."</p><p>"Can we?" You ask him quickly. "Is there anything I can do to help, to help save him before his time is up?"</p><p>"We could hunt the demon down. But look, I know Dean wouldn't want me anywhere near this, and if he finds out that you know, things will be different."</p><p>"As if it isn't already."</p><p>"I know it hurts and I know all about what happened, trust me I've tried talking to him about it. I know he's only got a year but if he wants to be at peace with the people in his life the least you can do is hear him out. I'm serious when I say give him-"</p><p>"I'll listen, but I want to talk to him." You stand up and make your way to the passenger side and open the car door, resting on top as you wait for Sam.</p><p>"About it all, everything."</p><p>"Yeah, okay. But what about the case?"</p><p>"We'll work in teams. Watch out for my sister, she'll watch out for you. Dean and I will go together and I'll talk to him then."</p><p>You sit down in the car and slam the door, slightly cursing to yourself that it might've been too hard. But then you remember Dean isn't driving — he won't know. Sam gets in the car and starts her up.</p><p>"He'll try and talk you out of it all. Dean...he's pretty adamant about wanting to be saved. If he.. if he even goes near trying to get out of the deal, he'll die. We all know how he is, with or without this deal he's protective and never wants people he cares about to get in danger because of him. And I agree with that sometimes.”</p><p>You stay quiet. </p><p>“Look, you're family and I can't let you and your sister just let everything go and help us."</p><p>You furrow your brows at him almost as if you're about to scold him, but also because you're starting to feel worried.</p><p>He says your name, “just because I'm not the one you love doesn't mean I won't be as protective as him. Talk to him if you want, just know his mind is pretty much set on this deal."</p><p>You look down in your lap and play with your fingers as you anxiously think about Dean's deal and wanting to talk to him. After Sam explains that he's pretty straight on the deal, it makes you nervous to tell him you know. You nod your head then turn to look out the window as he begins to drive back to the motel. The more you began to think, the more worried you were on how you were going to focus on this case and even muster up the courage to confront Dean about the past, his deal and the things unresolved between the two of you.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Birthday After Everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Dean's Birthday-- his 42nd Birthday, and everything is alright in his life. God is defeated, you and the boys saved Cas with the help of Jack and every one has survived it all. And now, Dean gets to celebrate his birthday at the end of the night alone with you, his love and his life...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>happy fucking birthday dean winchester. 42 years old. we love you, we will all always love Dean. hope this brings all the dean people like myself some happiness and peace &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's Dean's Birthday-- his 42nd Birthday, and everything is alright in his life. God is defeated, you and the boys saved Cas with the help of Jack and every one has survived it all. And now, Dean gets to celebrate his birthday at the end of the night alone with you, his love and his life...</p><p>People usually say a good day goes by pretty quick, that time flies when you're having fun. They were right. But today, Dean felt like this day was never ending and in a good way. He was finally at peace from this incredibly long journey and battle against everything and God controlling them. But here with you, Sam, Eileen, Jody, Donna and the girls, even Garth showed up with his family, he finally felt free and happy. No more worrying. No more sitting on the edge of his seat waiting for bad things to happen. Dean for the first time in a long time, felt happy.</p><p>You had excused yourself from the map room and library where everyone was hanging out, drinking and snacking on a bunch of junk food that was laid out on all the tables, and made your way to the kitchen alone. In the big silver fridge, you pulled out a big birthday cake for Dean and then made your way to the oven and turned it off. With kitchen mittens, you pulled out the apple pie and set it on the counter to rest. You took of the mittens and set them down so you can walk over to the table and take a seat, praying to Cas and Jack to remind them about Dean.</p><p>See, just days ago, you prayed to them and Cas instantly came to you asking if everyone was okay. You wanted to make sure him and Jack would come to Dean's special surprise birthday, as well as celebrating life and being all together.</p><p>And he promised you, and he delivered.</p><p>In just seconds, Cas and Jack had surprised you in the kitchen</p><p>"Jack!" You smiled, as he threw his hand up saying hello. You pulled him into a hug and chuckle into his shoulder. "So happy to see you, kid."</p><p>"I'm very happy to see you."</p><p>"How's heaven?" You pulled away to hug Cas, who was already pulling you into him.</p><p>"It's looking up," Cas said. "It's taking longer than we thought, but Heaven should be better soon."</p><p>"Well that's good to hear, come on. Dean will be really happy to see you two."</p><p>"Y/N! I smell the pie, are you gonna bring it out, or-"</p><p>Dean paused in the doorway, his mouth agape as he looked looked at you standing next to Cas and Jack on each side. He slowly walked down the steps and approached you three standing in the middle of the kitchen.</p><p>"I prayed to them a few weeks ago. Told them they better come see you for your birthday." You smiled then kissed him on the cheek and taking a step back.</p><p>"Cas, buddy, thank you."</p><p>Dean pulls Cas into a hug and they stay like that for minutes.</p><p>"It's so great seeing you." He said into Cas' shoulder.</p><p>"It's great seeing you Dean. Happy Birthday."</p><p>They pulled away from each other and just like that Jack is attacking Dean with a huge hug. Cas and you laugh as you watch Dean grin and pat Jack's back. The four of you stand together in the kitchen catching up on things and even stealing the first few bites of apple pie with Dean.</p><p>"Come on, I think Sam and everyone would love to see you two." Dean said as he stuffed his arms with a bunch of beers.</p><p>"Oh I missed you Dean." Jack said. "Will you let me have more beer this time?"</p><p>"Kid, with you fixing heaven...I don't think that's a good idea." He answered.</p><p>"Dean, it's not like he can get drunk." You shrugged.</p><p>"Yes, that's true." Cas confirmed with a tilt of his head. "But technically he is still just a child."</p><p>"Dude, he's God now." You say.</p><p>"What the hell..." Dean throws a beer at Jack and he instantly catches it with a huge smile on his face. "Alright, Sam and everyone's out there."</p><p>"Sam." Jack's eyes lit up and left the kitchen.</p><p>"Come on boys, we got a birthday to celebrate!" You winked at them, and together you all made it back to the party.</p><p>Everyone was happy to see Cas and Jack, hugging and picking up conversations with one another had made you happy. Sam and Eileen stood together as they mingled with Garth and his wife Bess. Jody and Donna hung around Dean drinking beers as he stuffed his face with the cake and pie after everyone had sung happy birthday to him. Kaia and Claire were sitting together, on one chair, giggling and holding each others hands. Jack made conversation with Patience and Alex by the snacks at the table and even lifted the bars of Nougat up and smiled at it. As you stood around alone watching out at everyone, you noticed Dean's undeniably big smile as he spoke with Jody, laughed with everyone he hung out with. You were so lucky to be here, to be with him and to finally see Dean Winchester at peace and alive with family.</p><p>It's what he deserved, and it's what everyone else deserved. That fight was over, and soon you and him would be able to slowly settle down and move on.</p><p>By the end of the night, everyone crashed in bunker rooms as you and Dean were afraid for the majority of everyone to go home this late and with some people heavily intoxicated. Dean just wanted this to be real and wanted to wake up the next day to see his family. After cleaning up with help from Jody, you and Dean were the only ones left in the kitchen as everyone made it to bed.</p><p>Dean walked up behind you with his arms wrapping around your waist. He kissed you on the shoulder and then trailed up to your neck and then left one kiss on the side of your jaw.</p><p>"Happy birthday, Dean." You whispered, your hands placed over his that rest on your stomach. "I love you."</p><p>"Thank you gorgeous. Today was really damn special because of you. Getting everyone together, Cas and Jack showing up." He sighed into your neck. "I'm so damn happy you're here, that we're here together."</p><p>"Well the Winchesters never stop fighting, guess I learned a few things from you and Sam." You smile. "You're welcome Dean, I had to get everyone here. You deserve to be celebrated, we all deserve to be happy together too."</p><p>He nodded his head.</p><p>"I know it ain't official, but uh you've fought so hard the last few years with us. You kept it together when I couldn't, you never gave up on the fight. You're a Winchester for sure, baby. Let's make it official then."</p><p>"Are you... are you saying we should-"</p><p>"Hell yeah I am." Dean twisted you around to face him. "Call it an early birthday gift to me."</p><p>"We'll pick out a day tomorrow?"</p><p>He winked at you and nodded.</p><p>"Come on. This reminds me that I may or may not have two presents for you."</p><p>"Oh really now?" He smirked.</p><p>"It's in the bedroom, I don't know...I was kinda nervous to bring it out earlier with everyone hovering around."</p><p>Dean raised his brows and smiled. "Oh sweetheart..."</p><p>You chuckled and dragged him to follow you into his bedroom that you two shared for the past two years in the bunker. He grabbed onto your waist and started kissing and sucking on your neck. As you reached the room, he slammed the door shut after you walked in and you rushed over to the dresser. He watched you intently and rested his shoulder on the brick wall, next to you.</p><p>"First one..." You pulled out the square thin box covered in scooby doo wrapping paper and a big gold bow on it. You bit your lip and waited for him to open it after he was amused by all the shaggy and scooby's on it with sandwiches in their mouths. "Come on baby, we got a few hours left for you birthday..."</p><p>He ripped threw it and saw the fancy burgundy lingerie. "You're gonna kill me tonight..I swear."</p><p>"I have to get it on me," You laughed. "But before I do, I wanted to surprise you with another one first."</p><p>Before he could answer, you leave him standing by the dresser as you pull out a smaller, velvet box by your nightstand. Running your fingers over the velvet, you were nervous to give it to him, wondering what he might think about this and his answer could change you and his future and relationship. You stand in front of him just inches away from his body and hold out the box.</p><p>"I already proposed to you," Dean smirks, "You gonna get down on one knee for me now?"</p><p>You lovingly nudge his shoulder with your free hand and smiled. "Just open it, please baby."</p><p>He squinted at you in suspicion and took the box from your hand. You watched his face intently and</p><p>"Keys?"</p><p>"I uh...I might've had help a few weeks ago with finding the perfect place. It's a cabin, a home for us, in the woods not so far out from here.. I know you haven't seen it yet or I don't know even know if this is what you would want or with me even I just-"</p><p>"Y/N..."</p><p>"It's too much? I knew you didn't want to leave the Bunker...why didn't Sam talk me out of it? Or Eileen?"</p><p>"Hey, hey...stop. Look at me." Dean grabbed your hands and pulled you into him after setting the box down. You stared up at him and looked at all the freckles scattered all over his face, the corners of his eyes wrinkled as his smile reached his forest eyes. His soft, plump lips stay together in a soft smile as he looked into your eyes and grabbed onto your face. Your heart began to pump against your chest because of his beauty and the words he's about to say to you.</p><p>"Did you just tell me you got a home for us?"</p><p>"I..I did, yeah."</p><p>He caressed your face, letting his fingers stroke your cheek. "Why would you think I wouldn't want this? We're gonna get married soon, no?"</p><p>"Well yeah," you sighed into his hand, "I just didn't think a home other than the bunker is want you wanted."</p><p>"Of course I want it." Dean pulled you into him closer. "I wouldn't have proposed to you if I didn't want that. I want everything we can get in this life, as long as it's with you."</p><p>"So...you're saying..." You raised your brows, waiting for him to reassure you and confirm your thoughts.</p><p>"I'm saying," he kissed you on the forehead, "a cabin in the woods, a home for us sounds really fucking good to me."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Oh yeah." Dean nodded as he blushed. "You are so perfect...I mean, this birthday and being by my side...getting a goddamn house for us? Lingerie for tonight? I love you, I really do."</p><p>You laughed and pulled away, grabbing the lingerie box from the dresser. "I love you too. Every day and forever, birthday boy. You deserve to hear that every damn day, Dean. And not just by me, but by everyone. And I hope you know how loved you are and how much we care for you."</p><p>He stood silent, taking your words in and relaxing his shoulders. He's always struggled with that, especially during the entire fight up against God. But now that everything is over and he can live, he can live knowing that he has you, his family...everyone that is sleeping in the Bunker tonight will always care for him and he'll always care for them. Instead of getting even more sappier like it has been all day, he decides to stalk forward in hunger and winked at you. He looked at the clock and there was about fifteen minutes until his birthday was over.</p><p>"Now, I still got some left until my birthday is over... how about you put this on and let's have some fun?"</p><p>You grabbed his flannel and pulled him into a harsh kiss, tongue exploring his mouth. Breathlessly, you both pulled away and started to laugh together.</p><p>"Oh even when that clock strikes twelve, I don't plan on stopping." You kissed his neck. "Happy Birthday, baby."</p><p>"Oh god..." Dean furrowed his brows and bit his lip as he pulled you into him and dragged you to the bed with you taking off his flannel at his shoulders. "Thank you, my love."</p><p>And for the first time with no worry, no interruptions and no taking things fast...you and Dean spent the rest of his birthday in bed, happy and content with the way everything worked out.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Even if Things Crumble Again (Dean)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A simple touch. A graze on his hand. Soft squeezes upon the back of his neck. Clenching fingers around his waist, with his flannels and tees bunching up as you hold him. A signal to let him know you were real, that you were here and never letting him go, never leaving. It's everything to him just like it is to you.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything felt surreal. From finally saving the day, the whole entire world and everyone's lives to catching up on rest and transitioning the Bunker into something more before leaving it to Sam and Eileen to keep running. You saw it in his eyes, hope still churning inside his body for something he never got his hands on, something his brother finally has. That's when you knew that it was time for you and Dean to move on from it all; the hunting and the recovery. After every heart wrenching minute with Chuck and all the emotional turmoil everyone endured together, he slowly began to recover from it all. And he wasn't alone -- he still isn't.</p><p>There were times where it got hard for both you and him. Nightmares for the first couple months after defeating Chuck and losing people, nightmares that felt so real it began to hurt. Waking up in the middle of the night or feeling numb, not knowing if being free was actually real. But all it took was touches. A simple touch. A graze on his hand. Soft squeezes upon the back of his neck. Clenching fingers around his waist, with his flannels and tees bunching up as you hold him. A signal to let him know you were real, that you were here and never letting him go, never leaving. It's everything to him just like it is to you.</p><p>It was big, but small enough to make you and him feel safe. Surrounded by tall, evergreen trees and mountains that stretched across the waters had become apart of your home. Wooden porch wrapped around the entire home, neutral colors with hints of bright shades of green from the plants everywhere. Together you spent most of your time outside of the cabin like home, on a porch bench that was cushioned, with coffee and a dog that rested on Dean's lap or occasionally the wooden floor. It was times like this that made him feel finally okay to live and enjoy the peace he found with you.</p><p>More touches, tighter squeezes and hugs assured him every second of every day that nothing will ever change or pull you two apart ever again. Although all the intimate moments shared with Dean was beautiful, even fun at times, you were finally able to spend it at ease and any pace you wanted. His favorite part of this forever with you was that you never had interruptions, no more quick and messy and small beds in motels or the bunker. Everything was better, heightened and he felt like this is what you both finally deserved. Your own home together. A bed. No more moving around through motels, or hiding. The mornings filled with nothing but the sounds of uneven breaths, sweaty bodies under the thick covers. He loves that, the lazy mornings and not a fear inside of him. Just focused on you, your body and making each other feel good.</p><p>Then, there's the nights where it really did feel like it was too good to be true. The nights where it was late and the both of you couldn't sleep, you'd stay up all night and talk or hold each other while popping in a movie. But when it came to bed, neither of you felt at ease until his body was tangled up with yours, him inside you and expressing the proof of his love for you, hoping you still feel the same.</p><p>"Fuck," dean pants out in bliss, "I need you. Forever, sweetheart. I-"</p><p>"Dean, fuck, I love you." You gasp out, holding onto his muscles. "I'll always need you."</p><p>He says your name repeatedly, like he's trying to get a hold of you but you're there in his grip not going anywhere but to euphoria. His head rests into the crook of you neck, lips pressing against your pulse. The speed is fast but not erratic, hard movements that make the both of you gasp for air and letting our curses and each others names when you obtain air.</p><p>"Is it?" He asks through his shaken breaths. You know what he means; is it real? Is this what you want, need? This isn't a game anymore, right? And it isn't. All your feelings, every last one of them, they're all real.</p><p>You throw your arms over shoulders, one hand grabbing his neck and threading your fingers in his hair, pulling softly but enough to make him groan. You squeeze him too and he moans louder, letting a curse slip out of his mouth. "Baby, is it?" He repeats.</p><p>"Oh..." You close your eyes, head slightly lifting to bite his shoulder. "It is, baby. It always has been."</p><p>"Fuck, it always will be." You moan, finally letting go with him. "Dean."</p><p>Those nights in bed never went away, but what did is the constant reassuring. Because slowly, Dean trusted and understood that it's real, he's finally done with being controlled and knows how you feel. You love him. He loves you.</p><p>It took a while for the two of you to really get used to being together alone. Having a place to call home, out in the open and no distractions and finally being free. Free. A foreign word, concept something the two of you never really had. Being completely free to be who you are both individually and together. You learned more and more about each other every day, something you both didn't think was possible considering all the things you've been through together. He knew everything about you, and you him. But when you learned a small thing about him, it made you happy. And when he learned something about you, it made his heart thump and his body warm with admiration. Months and months spent in your home, just the two of you, adjusting to finally getting to live and retired from the hunting life, went by.</p><p>Early Saturday mornings were your favorite. Before he would go off and do some handy work, or before you'd spend the day indulging in all things that the hunting life never let you do, you sat together on the porch bench.</p><p>"You know...it's all over." You say to him, as you hold him on the porch bench as he lays on your lap. He breathes out and closes his eyes, a hand grabbing yours with need. You feel him move around ... "It's been a year already and it's all real. Us, the home our dog...Eileen and Sam. We get to live. We are living. We don't need to live to survive anymore we can just...we can just be. We can breathe without worrying, rest without anticipating something bad. Trust me when I say all of this and you, is everything I need. I'd even be fine with just having you and nothing else."</p><p>He exhales a laugh and opens his eyes, staring up at you. "Just me? No dog, no beautiful view or the hikes?"</p><p>"I love it all, I do." You smile down at him. "I'm just saying, even if things crumble again and this all disappears, I'd be okay living without it all if it means I only have you."</p><p>"Those are pretty powerful words." He says, adding your nickname you absolutely adore ever since he made it up. That's one of the many endless reasons you love about him.</p><p>"And I mean every one."</p><p>He reaches up, this time it's him giving you a soft graze to your cheek with the back of his hand. Softly, like he's barely touching you, slowly his hand rubs back and forth making you flustered.</p><p>"I love you, for saying that and being here." He whispers. "But let's not think about the what if's or the bad. You said it yourself, we get to breath now. Live."</p><p>Your lips curl up into a smile as you reach for his wrist and hold it. Looking down into his glazed eyes, you bend your neck and kiss his forehead. That's one of the many endless reasons he loves about you -- all your little, gentle gestures and the way it makes him feel.</p><p>"Yeah, and we get to do it together." You sit back up, continuing to look out at the trees dancing and the leaves falling, the sun hiding behind swaying clouds. You remove your hand from his wrist, letting it fall to his head, fingers running through his growing hair. "I love you." You hear him hum, and looking down at him you see he's closed his eyes again, soaking in those three words, the atmosphere and the love that radiates off each others bodies. The quiet lingering between you two was something neither of you got tired of. These moments where time feels like it stays still and it's just you two holding on to each other with gentleness brought you to a peace.</p><p>There was no more anticipating the next day, the future...because everything was real and you were both free; to be, to live.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Your Face, Your Voice (Destiel)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He feels it now. Nerves striking up and down his body, his heart pounding against his chest and a weird tumbling in his stomach. His eyes finally reach the glistening blue ones in front of him, the same eyes he's always stared into for years.</p><p>The feelings now incredibly intensified, making Dean feel things he's always felt but now much more clear. He was ready; to be brave and speak his truth like Cas had. If he could do it, so can he. He's always learned from Cas, and that was never going to stop.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>my otp, destiel. also posted as it's own work on my AO3!:)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For what felt like forever, Dean kept breathing to try and calm himself down. But each exhale was quivery, and began to hurt. At first, with Sam right in front of him, he didn't want to be left alone. Everything began to hurt and he began to believe that this was it. Everything he had fought for, yearned for was all going to be for nothing. It wasn't until Sam had convinced and fought for his brother's life in that moment. He had left Dean for just a few seconds, running out of the barn in a focused panic. He felt like he was there, alone, forever and that he was going to die without his brother by his side. </p><p>His eyes were closed, but the tears continued to escape as they trailed down his cheek. He was growing tired, his lips quivering at the pain that had both kept him awake and slowly end his life. Pure agony; to be alone and dying after everything you've done to protect the world from crumbling. It wasn't fair, and he knew deep down inside that this isn't what he deserved. </p><p>Sam still hadn't come back just yet, and it hadn't even been more than five minutes yet. Dean shivered from the pain, but he suddenly felt a whoosh of air against his skin. He flinched, but kept his eyes close. The only sound he heard was someone calling out for his name. A faint smile formed on his lips. Is this what heaven for him sounded like? Was he here with him?</p><p>"Dean?"</p><p>He didn't want to believe that this was it. He was gone, never saw Sammy again. </p><p>"Dean, what happened?" </p><p>He didn't want to open his eyes just yet. His voice calling for him was enough.</p><p>"Look at me, Dean." </p><p>He still felt the sharpness stuck inside his body. His eyes slowly opened, his mouth agape as he gasped. </p><p>"Cas?" </p><p>Cas takes a step forward and grips Dean's shoulders. They stare into each others eyes, like they were both being hypnotized and moved by the rising heat between each other. Dean closes his eyes and leans into his touch, his heart fluttering both from pain and being with Cas again.</p><p>"I'm here, Dean." He assures him. "I need you to listen to me. Open your eyes, keep them on me."</p><p>"Cas, I-"</p><p>"Don't speak. Please, just focus on me. It's going to hurt, but I promise you Dean, I'm here. It won't hurt after." </p><p>"Are we going up together?" He closes his eyes. "You know, heaven. If it's still there." </p><p>"Dean, just focus on me." He repeats. "You're still here, still..." </p><p>He takes a few seconds to breathe before he grips onto Dean harder, and nods. "I need you to be ready, so just push through this. Keep fighting like you always do. Okay?"</p><p>Dean nods his head profusely and opens his eyes again. Cas pulls on his body, trying to take his body off the the rebar. Dean lets out a deep groan, almost yelling through the pain. His face winces, tightly squeezing onto Cas's waist, bunching up the trench coat. Cas's eyes begin to tear up as he watches the man he loves protest in undeniable pain. He whispers soft words of encouragement, making sure Dean knew he was strong enough to get through this. To make sure that Dean is worth saving and has a life he deserves to live.</p><p>Suddenly, Dean fell into Cas's arms as they both stumble for just a moment. Dean's eyes are still closed, but open slightly when he sees a glowing blue light in front of him. Cas moves his hands from his shoulders, placing one hand behind Dean where the rebar was and the other now on his heart. He was healing him. Cas still has tears in his eyes, and Dean exhales a shaken laugh. </p><p>Dean's hand shot straight up to his chest, his eyes widening in hope. There was no more pain. He was okay, alive and it was all because of Cas. </p><p>"You're here." Dean says. </p><p>"I'm here, Dean. We both are." </p><p>"Cas...what you told me. Every single word, every second..."</p><p>"It's okay, we don't need-"</p><p>"It's your turn to listen to me now." He softly says, as he raises his hands to Cas's cheek. "You told me there was one thing you want and that you couldn't have it. But you're here now, alive. And so am I. You have me. We get to live now, and you taught me that we deserve it. Cas, thank you." </p><p>"You do deserve it, Dean. </p><p>Cas pulls Dean into a hug by his waist, not wanting to let him go.</p><p>"Thank you." Dean breaths out, squeezing Cas tight between his shoulder blades right where his wings begin. Dean can't feel them, or see them, but his wings start to flutter as Cas feels a gentle kiss on his jaw, right where his ear is. "It's because of you that I'm okay." </p><p>"Yes, but..." Cas pulls away, even though he doesn't want to. He stares into his eyes, his stoic face now softened as he takes in the beauty that is Dean Winchester. "It's because you never stopped. You kept fighting, and now you get to live." </p><p>"What about you? You gonna stick around? For good?" His voice sounds like he's pleading, wanting Cas to stay. </p><p>"I'm not going anywhere." His eyes light up with happiness. </p><p>"Before...you know, when you saved me." Dean begins, slowly taking his time with words trying to register his own thoughts at the same time. "You told me that happiness isn't in the having, but in the being. In saying it." </p><p>"I remember." </p><p>Now, their hands are at their sides but they still stand close in front of each other. Cas continues to stare at Dean's freckled face -- he looks exhausted, but ready to leave everything behind. Dean uses his eyes to look up and down, all over, trying to run through his thoughts. He feels it now. Nerves striking up and down his body, his heart pounding against his chest and a weird tumbling in his stomach. His eyes finally reach the glistening blue ones in front of him, the same eyes he's always stared into for years. What felt like forever, they finally get to see each others face. The way Cas sees Dean, his hard exterior now relaxed and at peace. A hero with many scars, but still beautiful. His deep voice suddenly soft and quiet. And the way Dean sees Cas. Also hero, an angel...someone Dean can always count on. The strength, the vision of the most handsome and graceful angel- person- he's ever seen and got to know. </p><p>The feelings now incredibly intensified, making Dean feel things he's always felt but now much more clear. He was ready; to be brave and speak his truth like Cas had. If he could do it, so can he. He's always learned from Cas, and that was never going to stop. </p><p>"But I think we can have and deserve to have it. To live it. To say it. Cas..." Dean takes a step forward and gently grabs his face. "I thought I was never gonna see you again. Cas, man, I love you. I've missed you, everything..." </p><p>"Dean?" Cas stares at him. He can't believe it. Is this real? Is he really alive, standing in front of the man he's always loved and having him reciprocate feelings. Dean loves him. </p><p>"I do. I should've said it then, but I'm saying it now. I want to always say it, and not feel ashamed. I love you Cas." </p><p>Cas leans into his palms that are pressed against his cheeks, closing his eyes for just a second to absorb his truth and the love Dean radiates. Dean takes this moment to catch both Cas and himself in surprise. Closing his eyes too, to take it all in, Dean leans into Cas and presses his lips against his. Both of their eyebrows furrow in concentration on the fluttering they feel in both their hearts. Bodies close, hearts beating and a moment of happiness shining through. They're both alive, free to live all doing it together. And that's all they've truly wanted. </p><p>Sam stands by the barn door, looking in with faint smile at his brother and Castiel. It gives him hope, a sign for him that he deserves what they have right now too. Eileen. Clutching the first aid kit in his hands, he looks down and exhales a silent smile and walks back to the impala to wait for them, no matter how long that'll be. Dean's safe. Cas is back and alive. And so is Eileen. </p><p>They pull away from each other, both letting out a soft chuckle of disbelief. Without any words, Dean takes a hold of Cas' shoulder and smiles. Their eyes still glisten from the tears before, lips still pursed and reddened from the kiss. The feeling doesn't fade but instead sinks into each of their hearts as they walk closely together, out of the barn and into the next phase of their life.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>10. Hiking (Sam)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Reader and Sam go on a hike, and she doesn't expect the view at the top to be as special as he promised.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sam x Female!Reader drabble. </p><p>(side note: this can literally be set any time of the show, preferably s14-15 and after. also, mentions of married!destiel &lt;3)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Sam, I've had enough."</p><p>You hear him chuckle as he keeps walking a few feet away up the hill. As your arms wrap around your chest, you stare at him as he keeps walking and shake your head. All day, your feet had been killing you. It didn't help that just two days ago you, him and Dean were all on a hunt together and your body had been aching all week. Sam thought it would've been a good idea to get fresh air, to do some minor physical therapy. You reluctantly agreed to this hike since he promised the two of you would spend the week resting in the bunker.</p><p>"I'm serious! I will turn around." </p><p>"Y/N, I promised you this view...everything will be perfect." He stops walking to turn to you, reaching his hand out for you to take it. </p><p>You squint in suspicion, biting back a smile as you walk further ahead and grab onto his hand. Sam pulls you into his body, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you wrap yours around his waist. Hiking up the rest of the hill, you push down all the negativity the floats in your head and decide not to let this ruin you and Sam's day. It had been a while since you two could really spend the weekend together without worrying about a case, or something dangerously lingering above your head and the Winchesters. At the end of the day, you cherished moments like this. Being away from the bunker and any danger or hunts and indulging in nature and walks alone with Sam. Occasionally some picnics here and there. </p><p>After hiking up the rest of the hill, twenty or so minutes later, Sam had his arms wrapped around your shoulders as you stood in front of him. You inhale the clean breeze, then exhale as you relax into his embrace. The fading blue sky was overpowered by the shades of soft pinks and lavender purple, the sun setting calmly over the tall trees. Sure, you had to drive a little bit to get this view in Kansas, but being with Sam made it worth it. Always.</p><p>"I...I know our life isn't the easiest or the safest. Or even the best life for love." </p><p>"Wait." You turn around quickly, placing your hand on his blue workout sweater and ball up for fist. "Sam, you're not...you didn't bring me all the way up here to call it quits, did you? I thought we've already spoke about this-"</p><p>A rush of panic flashes onto his face. His eyebrows furrow in as he smiles crookedly. </p><p>"Hey, no no." His hand caresses your cheek as he keeps the other hand in his pocket. "I brought you up here because of the view. Because we needed some time alone. Listen, we never know what will happen to us in this life. We've been through it all, you know, deaths, heart break and even family."</p><p>"Yeah, all of it." </p><p>"And despite all of it, I think the easiest thing has been loving you. Even when things get rough, it's always you. Always us. So what I'm trying to say that is that I don't ever want to run away from this just because things in our life can get hard and there's so many risks. I love you, too much, to let it go because of fear. You and me. That's all I want, all I see."</p><p>"Sam..."</p><p>"Marry me." Sam says, then laughs as he looks down at the box. "I mean..will you? Will you marry me?" </p><p>"Yeah, I will. Yes."</p><p>You both exhale a laugh and stare into each others eyes lovingly. Sam sighs smiling down at you blissfully. He gets ready to pull the box out where your ring is, but you softly shove his hand away, throwing yourself at him instead. He laughs in surprise, taking a few steps back before gaining back his balance. With your arms wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist with your feet off the ground, you kiss him eagerly.</p><p>"Should we uh, head back to the bunker then?" Sam pulls his mouth away from yours and laughs.</p><p>"Eh, you pulled us all the way up here. And no ones around..."</p><p>"Y/N.."</p><p>"Oh, don't be shy Sam. Besides, we should celebrate alone before we tell Dean and Cas. Those two will literally start planning our wedding the minute we tell them."</p><p>"You're right." Sam chuckles, rolling his eyes at the thought. "Cas will mention the kinds of flowers and plants, Dean will already be creating recipes and picking music out.  They'll be acting like it's their wedding again."</p><p>"Well at least we know we have their support." You caress his cheek, staring at him with bright eyes. "Alright, Winchester, let's celebrate."</p><p>You drop your hand and instantly Sam is holding them. There's a few minutes standing there with each other in silence, soaking in the moment and the love that radiates from one another. Sam starts walking backwards, holding your hands and pulling him with you with a smirk.</p><p>"Come on, don't be shy. " Sam repeats your words as you bite your lip and laugh, jumping into his arms again. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you, Sam."</p>
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